“The Autism Card”
You know how people are always getting a “free pass” because they deal with something difficult?
For example, you and your friends have plans to go out one night, and someone is in charge of ordering the Uber. No one wants to charge it to their card because everyone is in their twenties and broke, so to solidify that they will NOT be paying, your friend tells the group “I just got cheated on last week so I’m not paying”. OKAY. Although your friend getting cheated on is a shitty thing, it really has nothing to do with the situation at hand. Her ex boyfriend didn’t rob her, she still has money in her account, so why is she automatically out of the running to pay? Because she’s dealing with something significantly worse than the rest of the group. This can be said in my life, with what I use referred to as the “Autism Card”.
(To start off I’d like to disclose that I in no way want to take away from the fact that everyone deals with their own issues, and that this is meant light-heartedly).
I will admit, I’m not the best driver on the roads. I get really anxious when I don’t know where I’m going (even WITH navigation) and I can’t parallel park to save my life. So when my friends and I have plans to go to the thrift store and I don’t want to drive, I will maybe say something along the lines of “my autistic brother had an outburst and broke my new expensive candle.” Does this have to do with my driving abilities? Not at all. Does this prove to my friends that I should be getting some emotional compensation for the candle breakage? 100%.
If that example doesn’t really explain to you what I mean, here’s a better one. In my Junior year of high school, Nick started to become aggressive for the first time in his life. I’ll save the details for another time, but it was really difficult for me to focus and my mental health was the worst it ever was. My school admin was to my surprise, pretty understanding of what I was dealing with, and a lot of my assignments were excused for almost a whole month period. This really was a saving grace but then I thought, you know what? I deserve to use this as a way to give myself a much needed break from time to time. Now this isn’t a method I fully relied on but if every now and then if I didn’t study for my Pre- Calculus test, I would email my teacher saying “Hey Mr. Doe. Hope you’re having a great morning. I know our exam is today, but my autistic brother woke me up at 5 in the morning screaming up and down the halls and breaking things. Is there any way I can take the test later this week?” The message is so jarring that it works like a charm. It’s too oddly specific to be a lie (it was a lie) and this shouldn’t have affected my performance if I was truly prepared. But the response was always “Yes of course, feel better and let me know if you need anything”. THAT is how the Autism Card works.
I deal with enough living with my brother on a daily basis and not a lot of people understand the extent of it and how it can affect the other aspects of my life. Sometimes I just need some sort of break which is rare to actually get, so it’s only fair that I give one to myself every now and then. Which is why I invented the Autism Card. It is a way for me to pick and choose when I’m overwhelmed, what to get off of my plate, and no other factors should be able to come between this decision to put my mental health first. If you deal with something difficult and out of the ordinary, you should definitely try to use this method. Everyone deserves some sort of a pass and this is mine. Do with this information as you please (but in moderation).
